Where it all began
by AnnoyedPrincess
Summary: Our lives all begin somewhere, some fates are better than others. My fate was to become a mother, to live to see my daughter smile, laugh and love. -Please note, triggers are in here. Adult Story.- Triggers of force as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: The beginning.**

 _My name is Anastasia Steele, I'm a secret want-to-be writer with a passion to write down all my daily events at the end of every day. This is my life's story about how I became the woman I am today. I hope you all learn from my mistakes and also learn from my experiences._

 _"I am sure it is everyone's experience, as it has been mine, that any discovery we make about ourselves or the meaning of life is never, like a scientific discovery, a coming upon something entirely new and unsuspected; it is rather, the coming to conscious recognition of something, which we really knew all the time but, because we were unwilling to formulate it correctly, we did not hitherto know we knew."_  
 _\- W.H Auden._

My journal began when I was a little girl, my mother gave it to me on my seventh birthday stating "You should always learn from your mistakes and also from your experiences my dear Ana." Ever since that day I have written down every insignificant detail in my life to do just that, learn.

My childhood was a good one, although slightly broken. My mother has moved from husband to husband trying to replace the one man she truly loved, my father. When I was 10 years old she moved onto husband number 3, Ray Steele. They seemed truly happy when they were together, although it was somewhat brief, Ray ended up adopting me and when their relationship fell apart as it always seemed to, that's when I decided to stay with Ray as he alone offered something my mother could not, security. Many people throughout the years have questioned if I missed my mother and honestly I have missed her, but a simple phone call reminds me why I decided to stay with Ray so long ago.

When I was in middle school I met a young girl called Kathrine Kavanagh, we quickly became best friends unable to be separated even though our families and lives are vastly different. I'll explain, Kate grew up in a huge household with both parents madly in love together, she and her brother had everything they ever wanted given to them at every whim, tantrum or request, however I loved living with Ray, we lived in a small house working for every cent to our names, while I never went without, I worked damn hard to get everything I wanted or needed. Regardless, we became close friends.

I think Kate believed that her brother Ethan and I would eventually become an item since we always were around one another and to a point I thought we would too. Ethan was always a lively character, blonde like his sister with bright blue eyes which were gorgeous but lacked something I can never quite put my finger on and yet there were events which took place, which made our union impossible, I'll explain from the beginning of course.

Kate Kavanagh is a formidable woman, she has legs that go for miles as one might say, I remember the night that our lives changed forever. Kate and I were 21 years old, in our second year of college when we decided to venture out a carefree night on the town. I remember Kate was in her element, dancing the night away. I was sitting at the bar having a few drinks myself, watching her ensuring she didn't fall over or hurt herself. That's when I noticed a man trying to dance with her, she kept trying to move away and he kept persisting.

I took it upon myself to intervene at this point, I grabbed Kate's hand and began to drag her towards the bar, after she walked in front of me I kept myself between her and this unknown man. I thought that was the end of him, I thought he would of taken the hint. It wasn't much longer after that, that Kate started to get sleepy. Thinking nothing of it I helped her outside the bar trying to hail a cab.

The unknown man was back, he had a warm smile plastered upon his face... He seemed to genuinely want to help. He picked Kate up in his arms and was carrying her, although he headed down an alley rather than the main street. I remember how confused I was, why was he taking her that way? I remember running after him, telling him to stop, pleading with him to leave her alone. But most of all, I remember my blood running cold as I saw the black van come into view. No, please dear god no, don't let this be it!

As my blood went cold, my limbs stopped moving, my voice was unable to come to the surface. He opened the door to the van, threw Kate in and then he turned to me, my eyes were wide staring at him, his gaze was nothing but predatory. I was rooted to the spot as he stalked towards me. The last thing I saw was his fist heading towards me.

I woke in the hospital a week later, I was covered in bruises and Kate was beside me covered in many of the same bruises. I remember the hot tears pouring down my face when I remembered how I didn't do anything to save her... It still haunts me to this day. Yet, there's one good thing that came out of my experience, and that is Eleanora, my golden haired blue eyed girl.

"Mum, Mum, Mum!" I hear chanting coming from outside my room and a smile comes to my lips, my darling Eleanora is awake.

"Ella darling, Mumma may not be awake just yet. How about we go get you showered and dressed?" I hear Kate try and persuade my darling daughter, and I knew that she'd be looking up at Kate with her big blue orbs and pouting slightly.

"But I want Mumma!" I hear the whine in her voice, I instinctively get out of bed and put my dressing gown on.

"I know baby girl. Come, we'll get dressed and mumma will be out in a moment, I promise!" The pitter patter of feet ran away from my door, I can't hide the smile from my lips. I doubt I could of made it this far without my best friend.

I went into my ensuite and began my morning routine, showering, getting dressed then shoving my hair into a messy bun. Rocking my tracksuit pants and tank top I walk outside my bedroom to see my bundle of joy sitting at the breakfast counter with Kate standing behind her beginning to put her hair into pony-tails.

"Hello baby girl." I look towards my angel, my safety net and I smile warmly. Heading towards the cupboard I pull out a bowl for Eleanora. "Breakfast baby?"

"Yes Mumma, Puweeze." My little angel always had issues with pronunciation. Although the occasional mix up is just too adorable.

"It's please Ella, say it for me." I look right into her eyes, bringing my motherly tone into my words.

"Pleeeeease." Every ounce of sweetness oozing from her soul. I look up at Kate who's trying not to giggle.

"Good." I mutter, grabbing her cereal I pour her favourite cereal into the bowl. Coco Puffs, full of sugar maybe but delicious none the less. Ella ate with a hearty appetite full of energy already, maybe sugar wasn't such a good idea. After Kate had finished her hair she quickly ran into the bathroom to begin her morning routine as well.

It wasn't long until everyone was dressed and ready to venture out into the big wide world. "Ana Banana, what are you doing today?" Kate quizzes me over the kitchen counter, her blue eyes full of questions.

"Well if the ever inquisitive Miss Kavanagh must know, I'm going to be going to class and hopefully getting some study in for my degree. Something you too should be studying for my dear." I raise my eyebrow as I look at her, Ella gracefully unaware that my best friend her aunty has something she wants from me.

"Oh Ana, of course you are. Is there any chance you'll be in the business district of town?" She flutters her eye lashes at me.

"Potentially. Why?"

"Can you go to the Grey building? There's a café in the lobby and I need to know what kind of activity occurs in there... You know, seeing what kind of things I need to focus on for my interview with him."

"I'll enquire, but I can only be there from 10 to 3. I've got to pick little one up from day care." She bursts into a massive grin, almost leaping for joy.

"Of course Ana, don't forget to take your laptop! Write down everything that happens! Love you Ana & Ella!" She races out the door to make it to work on time. Ella and I both stare at Kate leaving, a small smile on each other's face.

"Well little one... are you ready to start the day?" I turn to my piggy tailed angel.  
"Yes mumma. Can we stop at the bakery on the way to school?"

"No darling, maybe on the way back home though." I help her down from her chair, and hand in hand we left our house ready to start our new adventure.

The first time today I look down at Ella and notice she's wearing a bright pink dress with white polka dots with bright ballet flats, she looks picturesque. As we walk towards the elevator I notice a young man waiting beside it. "Going down?" He turns to me, green eyes glowing.

"Please." I nod, after that fateful night I don't trust strangers.

"I wanna press the button!" Ella screams out, running to press the button before the man could.

"Ella Steele! You apologize right now for being so rude!" I chastise her, those bright blue eyes I normally crumble underneath were wide with what I could only assume was shock She turned to the man beside us, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry mister." Her bottom lip has popped out.

"All is forgiven young one." I knelt down and gave her a small smile, then looked up at me through his long thick lashes. "Do you mind if I enquire as to how old this young one is?"

"I'm three mister." Ella beamed up at him.

"Please, call me William little one." He reached out to touch her, and I instinctively grabbed Ella's shoulders and pulled her back to me.

"Thank you for the forgiveness William, however we must be on our way." I grabbed Ella's hand and went towards the stairs never looking back.

It was only a five minute walk to Ella's day care centre, the minute we went around the corner Ella started getting excited almost jumping with joy the same as Kate. I smiled brightly at my little angel. Once she was dropped off at the centre I started my walk towards Grey Industries. The things one must do for friendship.

As I walk my mind wanders again to the fateful day when I awoke in the hospital. Even as Kate and I were covered in bruises we couldn't tell anyone what happened to us, simply for the fact we had no recollection of the events before hand. We were so sore we could barely move, the tears were burning down my face, leaving a trail of small stings in it's wake.

When we were finally released from the hospital I remember being so glad, I nearly ran from my hospital room when I'd heard the news. Our lives were going to return back to normal. Kates parents drove us from the hospital to our apartment, they resided in the spare bedroom for a month at that time to ensure we were fully healed before they left. To which I was so grateful for, it allowed us freedom whilst offering security. It was perfect at that time.

I remember the nausea when it hit me, I was sitting in my class when I felt the movement in my stomach. I shot up from my seat and nearly fell over everyone in my row at the time. Hand to my mouth I bolted to the closest bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. I purged my stomach of whatever was plaguing me. It wasn't terribly classy or lady-like. Kate was behind me soon after holding my hair back as I lurched forward.

"Ana... Have you ever been on birth control?" Kate whispered. I paled as I thought about the reasons she would ask me such a thing. I couldn't speak at that point, I turned to look at her and minutely shake my head. "Shit Ana... I think we need to go to the store." No, No, No! It can't be true, please dear god don't let it be true!  
I don't remember the trip to the shops, I don't even remember going back to our apartment. I do remember the agonizing wait while we waited for the stick to tell us the result. I was lying on the couch with my head in a pillow, Kate was rubbing my back, small sobs were beginning to flow through my body. "Ana." Kate whispers. "It's time." She hands me the stick face down so we can't see the answer, I roll over so I face her my hand shakes as I accept the stick from her, the stick which is going to decide my livelihood. "Do you want me to check for you?" More whispers.

"No." Slowly I turn the stick over and focus on the notification window... My hands shake, my limbs go cold and hard at the same time, I drop the tiny stick. Kate's face looks alarmed, she reaches for my future on the floor.

"Shit... It's positive."

My life was planned out before me, I had the chance to be anyone I wanted to be, to be anything I wanted to be.. Although, in a way I'm glad my life turned out the way it is now, I have a beautiful daughter who is the light of my life. I learnt from my experience... I accepted my fate to be a mother this early on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:** New beginnings.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

 _ **Mahatma Gandhi**_

I was stuck in my head to the point where I didn't even notice I had already entered the business district, no longer was I walking past mothers and fathers dropping their kids off to day care, but I was walking amongst business people dressed in pant suits or suits in general. I felt oddly out of place in my summer dress. Blue with white polka dots, I smirk as I remember Ella's dress sense, it seems she really does take after me in some ways.

I seemed to venture back into my mind for a little too long, because before I knew it I ran straight into someone, I almost expected to fall flat on my behind on the sidewalk. However, that never happened, I felt strong fingers grasping my forearms, I looked up from the pale blue shirt in front of me.. I was met with wide grey eyes surrounded by copper hair.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" I gasp out, as I look up into those cold grey eyes, he looks utterly bewildered.

"Don't apologise..." He manages to mutter out. I look down at where his hands are still holding onto my arms, as if my look electrocuted his body he retracts his hands. "Uh. Good bye." He mutters and scurries off into the building we're standing out the front of, his what I could only assume are body guards follow him inside. _Shit, he must be pretty important._ I look up at the buildings name in front of me.

 **Grey Industries** stares at me, I smirk at the thought I might run into the grey eyed beauty again. Although hopefully manage to not swear at the man. I walk into the lobby and head directly into the café on the left side of the foyer. I order a cappuccino and a small cake and sit facing towards the lobby, getting my laptop out I begin to write my term essay due in only a couple of weeks.

I was in the zone as I was tapping away at the keys on my laptop, I wasn't even looking up at this stage completely oblivious to everything going on around me. I heard a cough from behind my laptop, I stopped tapping away for a moment to look up and see a large man in front of me, he looked oddly familiar but I couldn't say from where.

"Hello." I cock my head to the side as I regard him.

"Hello. Are you able to come with me please?" He doesn't smile, his facial expression doesn't change in the slightest.

"Why?" I raise my eyebrows as I regard him, he must be security.

"Because you've been in this coffee shop since Mr Grey arrived, and you haven't left. You don't seem to have business in the building and we don't know who you are. So if you would be so kind Miss, please follow me." He stands in a no-nonsense fashion, rather than arguing I gather my things and stand as well to follow Mr Security. He leads me towards the elevator, he presses the button and we wait in silence. Once it arrives we spend more time in a closed elevator not talking, we seem to be heading to the top of the building though. I wonder who Mr Grey is.

I scan over my memories of conversations I've had with Kate in the past about who Mr Grey might be, but nothing comes to mind. I imagine him being in his 40's with balding or receding hair line, I stifle a chuckle. I doubt Mr Security would appreciate me laughing about his boss, although the idea remotely humours me. The elevator opens to a large reception area with a single desk at the end that's manned by a skinny blonde, she doesn't smile as we enter. I almost feel like sticking my tongue out at her as we passed towards the large doors on the left. Mr Security opens the door and ushers me in the room, his body language screams don't argue with me. I oblige and head in the room tripping over my own two feet, once again today I feel two strong arms on my forearms keeping me steady.

I look up into grey eyes for the second time today, although this time the eyes are not filled with questions and curiosities but rather are hard and cold but mostly guarded. "Miss, we meet again." There's no humour in his voice, he sounds like he's just stating a fact.

"Yes, I guess so. The only thing is I'm not sure why we're meeting for the second time today." I raise an eyebrow as I look up at him, noticing his hands are still locked around my arms. "Also can you please release your grip on me?" I look down at his hands then back up to him. He lets my arms ago but his eyes remain distant to me.

"Please, sit." He ventures towards the couch in the huge office we're in. I follow him towards them and sit in the chair opposite him. We both end up staring each other down, it reminded me of the time Ella refused to eat her vegetables and we ended up in a similar situation, I nearly smirk at the memory but the cold steel of this strangers eyes still me. "What is your name? If you don't mind me asking."

"My name is Anastasia Steele, what is yours?" I raise my eyebrow at him. A challenge of sorts, no matter how good-looking you may be stranger, you're never going to outwit a mumma.

"You don't know?" The cold steel in his eyes turning to confusion. Why would I know who he is? I mean sure this office is huge but I'm sure there's plenty more like it in Seattle?

"Should I?" Tension between us is beginning to grow.

"Hmm. My name is Christian Grey, Miss Steele. I own this building, in fact this company." Confusion turns to cocky. I feel a fire burning through my stomach, what a cocky jerk, who cares if he owns the building that doesn't mean everyone needs to know who he is.

"Okay, so you're the owner of a building where I'm writing a term paper and having coffee? Please explain why you've summoned me your royal highness?"

"Royal highness?" His lips twitch slightly upwards, a small smirk gracing his lips... _Careful Steele. You're in a showdown with a complete stranger. Don't worry about the lips and worry about the why you're here._ "Regardless Miss Steele, we needed to ensure you weren't a threat to the building. However, I can see that's not the case. If you'll please excuse me." He stands suddenly, even though he's excusing himself I can tell I've been requested to leave abruptly.

"Of course your royal highness." I curtsey mockingly to him and turn to leave without a second glance or thought behind me. _What a royal cocky jerk._ My inner goddess wants to scream at him, however with my head held high and my hips swinging slightly I leave. I pull my phone out of my bag when I'm standing at the elevator waiting to go downstairs when I notice it's 2:30, shit I've got to pick up Eleanora.

I hear the door from Grey's office open up, and I instantly want to press the button 50 more times in hope that speeds the damn thing up. "Miss Steele, a word please?" I want to groan the man standing behind me, yet I know if I refuse to turn around I'll be acting like Ella on a bad day.

I slowly spin to face him, taking in his good looks for the first time properly, he's tall with broad shoulders, piercing grey eyes, gorgeous copper sex hair and his body is all lean but muscular, definitely someone I could look at for a long time coming. _Damn it Steele, get your head out of the gutter!_ "What is it?" I say rather rudely, I can see his face twitch with annoyance. _Good._ He stops dead in his tracks, unsure of how to continue. Doesn't strike me as the type to be uncertain.

"Miss Steele... Please feel free to visit again, just don't trip on your way out." He smirks and walks back into his office, I glare at his back. _God damn you Grey, god damn your good looks and stupid boy-ish charm._

The elevator finally dings open and I clamber inside, pressing the ground floor button. Thank god Mr Security is not in the room, I think I'd die of embarrassment if he had to witness me unravelling at the seams. I lean against the wall of the elevator waiting for the ground to swallow me up. The doors ping open and I shoot out of the building quicker than I've ever done before. It didn't take to long until I was in front of Ella's day care centre, the minute the door was open I saw my blonde haired angel running towards me at full point.

"MUMMA!" She giggles with joy and excitement.

"Ella baby!" I pull her into my arms and we both giggle. A daily routine. "Come baby lets go home."

"Bakery first mumma!" She pouts.

"Of course Ella, bakery then home I promise." I put her down on the floor and we hold hands as we walk out the building. Although today was confusing and full of different and unique experiences I'm glad I've got my baby to hold my world together so I don't become unravelled. Although, I wonder what Kate would have to say about my impromptu meeting with Mr Grey... Alas that waits to be seen.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Horizon on it's way**

 _One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today._  
 _\- Dale Carnegie_

I watched my little princess skipping down the street and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of her being happy, knowing that I've done everything in my power to make her a happy, healthy little girl. All things aside of course. My mind suddenly wandered back to those piercing grey eyes the faint mumbling of Eleanora was just teetering on the verge of my consciousness, that is until I heard her screeching voice.

"Mumma! Aren't you listening!?" I was ripped from the thought of grey eyes and I was looking down at my blonde haired baby with her hands on her hips, I couldn't help but smile at her little burst of outrage at the fact I wasn't listening to her, a little diva one might say.

"I'm sorry baby, what's up?" I mentally shake my head and look down on my girl  
giving her 100% of my attention.  
It didn't take long for her to go on once again about how as her being the fairy princess of the world means that she will personally save all the unicorns to which will pledge themselves to her forever. Okay, I'll admit I added a bit more into her story, it's true but the meaning was essentially the same. I nod at all the right points in her story encouraging her beautiful mind to grow.

As promised I took Ella to the bakery just before our apartment, the lovely man behind the counter knew us by name now, and quickly offered Ella the princess fairy cookie which she picked every single time. "Ana darling, are you not having one today?" I smiled warmly at the man behind the counter, his name was something I always happened to forget.

"Not today thank you. Only getting one for the princess today." I nod towards Ella who's currently shoving the cookie into her face as quickly as possible, almost afraid I might take it off her for some reason. I imagine this is what most mothers seem to go through with their children when they get a goodie, or two.

"Okay Ana, this one's on the house today." He waved me out of the shop, no amount of offering to pay changed his mind. It always makes my heart warm when he does something out of the goodness of his heart.

Once Ella had successfully stuffed the whole cookie in her mouth and the lovely man had given me another cookie for her to eat at a later time Ella and I headed out of the bakery and started the somewhat short trip home. We walking into our lobby to see William that odd man from before coming out of the elevator, he smiled a bit too brightly and held the door open for us. I thanked him without looking at him and ushered Ella in as well, promptly pressing the button to our level. Ella jumped in time with the elevator moving and was smiling with glee as the force of going upwards pushed her back to the ground, it was the beauty of having children at an age where they can't help themselves but learn and enjoy life. Ella ran down the hallway counting out the number of doors she saw before she found our door number, pronouncing loudly "Home! One-oh-One-Eleven."

"Ella, it's One hundred and eleven." I placed a hand on top of her head and ran my hands down her hair slowly.

"One hundwed and eleven!" She clapped for joy and I couldn't help but chuckle.  
"Yeah baby, one hundred and eleven." I fish for my keys through my pockets and failed to locate them, from there I began to look through my laptop bag and failed to find them there either. Damnit it, where are they? Ella began to look slightly confused as I went from pocket to pocket trying to find them, finally giving up I knocked on the door to try and get Kate to open the door. I'll have to try and find them later.

Ella began to pound on the door with both her tiny fists and I heard the thumping of Kate's feet on the hardwood floors running towards the front door, Ella obviously hadn't heard because she didn't stop until the door knob began to turn. Kate's eyes conveyed her confusion as to why I didn't just use my keys to open the door, my shrug of my shoulders conveyed I had no clue as to where they were. A nod between us was enough to halt the conversation until little ears were not in the room.

The rest of the night was spent getting Ella all settled in for the night, once Ella was fed and bathed Kate and I spent half hour with Ella reading books and working on her pronunciation of her words and focused on broadening her vocabulary. Ella has always been a creative child, she loved the draw, read and write. I'm glad that she got that part of me, I couldn't wait for the days in which we could discuss all the famous authors of previous generations. Ella's eyes began to droop slightly and that signaled a time for the little ones to crawl into bed, naturally she always fights me at this point in the evening, and it always brings a small smile to my face.

"But mumma, I'm not tired." She rubs her eyes and I place my hands on her shoulders as we walk towards her bedroom.

"I know baby." It didn't take long for her feet to begin dragging due to my little Ella beginning to fall asleep as she was walking. Ella sat down on her bed and I gently took off her bunny rabbit slippers, pretty pink of course. Sliding her into bed I tucked her into bed placing the pink bunny into her arms, kissing her forehead I watched her eyes flutter shut. I stood and walked to her door, dimming the lights before I shut her door softly. When I turned around I saw Kate standing there, a determined look on her face.

"So Miss Anastasia Steele. What happened today?" Her blue eyes boring into mine.

"Why Miss Kate Kavanagh what ever do you mean?" I look away from her gaze, and walk towards the kitchen to get my laptop from it's case.

"Well, first where are your keys? Second what happened today, did you end up going to Grey Industries?" She had a habit of following me around like a puppy dog when she wanted information from me, well from anyone.

"Miss Kavanagh, I will not fall under some sort of Spanish inquisition. If I knew where my keys were I wouldn't of needed you to open the door, now would I? As for what happened today, well there's not much to say. I ran into a Mr Grey before the building and his security team dragged me up to some stupidly over-done office and he questioned me as well, until he promptly asked me to leave." I shrug my shoulders as I begin to make myself a cup of coffee as I'm in the kitchen. When I turn to look at Kate her eyes are wide with what I could only guess.

"You... RAN into a Grey?" Every word seemed to be mumbled.

"Not ran into, that makes it seem like I did it on purpose, I bumped into him that's all." I stir my coffee absent-mindedly.

"And then he summons you to his office?"

"Yes, seems sitting in a coffee shop after bumping into the man who owns the building makes people jumpy. That's all." With my coffee in hand I leave the kitchen and head towards the study that both Kate and I share.

"Wow Ana, seems someone made an impression." I could hear the smirk and mockery in her voice.

"What made it more weird, after I left his office I went into the waiting room to wait for the elevator, he comes waltzing out of his office requesting a word with me, only to tell me that "I can visit whenever I please" of course I'm paraphrasing." I roll my eyes as I'm reliving the day in my mind.

"Wow Ana... Maybe he likes you!" I don't sense any type of mockery or humour in her voice.

"Kate please, he seemed to have a huge ego that would ultimately be bruised by the fact that I have a life that wouldn't revolve around him. I've got Ella, I can't afford to be mixing my company with people who could potentially bring danger to her." I opened my laptop beside my open books and began to read my notes from today

"Ana, I worry about you. Ella is nearly four now, I know you had to delay going back to college and you're doing everything in your power to support this adorable little girl, but you need to go out, meet some other adults, do that thing that adults do to relieve some stress!"

"That 'thing' that adults do.. I don't think I could even stand to be that close to a man, let alone do that..." I shudder at the fleeting memory.

"Ana, one day... You'll find someone who will make you forget all the bad memories. That person will make you feel loved, cherished and most importantly they will become an addition to your family, they will give Ella what she doesn't have currently... A Father."

"Kate. She has everything she could possibly need, she has my dad, my mum and me that's not even mentioning you and your parents. She has a support behind her that will make her be everything I couldn't be, achieve things I didn't even have a chance of achieving. But most importantly she will experience love in the purest of forms. One day I'll tell her where she came from, until that day however she will remain blissfully ignorant. End of discussion Kate." I felt Kate's hands on my shoulders, a small wet droplet touched the top of my head.

"Ana, I can't help but feel responsible for what has happened to you. I wish I could take it back so you could experience love first hand, to have Ella in better circumstances. I'm sorry Ana." I turned around and hugged my best friend, these conversations never did end up going so well for either of us, it always remained the same either I got angry and fed up explaining myself and then Kate got angry and stormed off to some bar, or she got upset. I wish the wheels would stop turning around in circles and repeating the same cycle of events.

"Kate, without you I wouldn't of survived my pregnancy, without you I wouldn't of been able to handle keeping my daughter part of my life. Without you, I wouldn't have my life that I have now, my life is filled with love and loyalty. Please, don't remember the things we could of fixed or done differently. We're here now in the present. So stop the tears Miss Kavanagh, and write that story of a lifetime already!"  
That seemed to do the trick, Kate began to smile at that point and nodded her head a few times, in silent agreement we both turned to our work and began to type the night away.

After a few hours Kate stretched in her seat and rubbed her eyes softly, I turned to look at her and due to our routine we knew that when Kate began to get tired that was time for the both of us to turn in for the night. We wished each other goodnight. Once I was lying in bed I couldn't help but think back to those grey eyes which dominated my thoughts all day.

Christian Grey, you copper haired demigod... Could you fix the fears that go down to my very soul?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Light will always guide the way**

 _"May Light always surround you;_  
 _Hope kindle and rebound you._  
 _May your Hurts turn to Healing;_  
 _Your Heart embrace Feeling._  
 _May Wounds become Wisdom;_  
 _Every Kindness a Prism._  
 _May Laughter infect you;_  
 _Your Passion resurrect you._  
 _May Goodness inspire_  
 _your Deepest Desires._  
 _Through all that you Reach For,_  
 _May your arms Never Tire."_  
 _― D. Simone_

 **Ana POV**

A mist surrounded me as my eyes were shut for the night, a mist which seemed supernatural at best. It's the type of mist which makes your heart increase in tempo, makes your body wet with a cold sweat. But it was the green eyes which stared at me from the mist which terrified me more. The eyes never moved closer to me, and they never had the look of human eyes but yet as green as they were, they still haunt me to this day.

As per usual, the nightmare begins, the green eyes stay within the mist, but the mist creeps slowly towards me, almost testing me to see if which would win, my fight or flight. I turned and ran towards the forest which seemed to grow out of no where, the black dead branches of the trees becoming some sort of sanctuary.

The deeper I ran into the forest, the branches began to twist and turn into something more fierce and frightening, they begin to reach out towards me grabbing at my clothes, hair, arms and legs. I feel the panic coursing through my body, the screams were pouring through my lips and yet a sound could not be heard. The branches were pinning me to the trees, I had no way to escape, no way to change my fate. As I stare into the sky helpless the green eyes were staring back at me, whether that was in pity or not I will never know.

* * *

 **Christian POV**

My day began as it always does, with a cold sweat covering my body from the terrible nightmare that decided to taunt me every single night. John Flynn wasn't able to help anymore than every other person I've talked to it about has been able to do. It was the curse of being me. In saying that, the soft haunting notes I play comfort me just the tiniest bit, watching my mother's face glow as I began to perfect the piano is a memory which I will cherish forever. Grace, my rescuer, my protector and fortunately enough for me, my mother.

My phone began to play the melody of my alarm clock, signaling me never to wake up but simply get ready. Escala the place where I reside most nights was always cold and bleak in the mornings even if Seattle was alive with energy. I grabbed my phone from the top of the piano silencing the annoying tune and began about my day.

"Taylor." I summoned him from the security office.

"Yes Mr Grey?" He stood to attention every time he was in my presence, it was very rare that he was himself around me, to a point that should upset me but I didn't hire him to be my friend, I hired him to protect me. I remember when I caught him and Mrs Jones in the kitchen, they both seemed so alive together, the smile flickered on my lips for the next couple of days after. It was good to know they found something resembling love in my house.

"I'll be ready to leave in 10 minutes. Please get the car ready." I waved him off to do whatever he needs to do, it was our morning routine and I rather liked how proficient he was in doing as he was told, the control over my surrounds makes me calm. My phone started ringing and I looked down to see who it was. Elena, probably trying to get me to talk to some new submissive, although it has been a few months since my last one I'm not quite ready to get a new one.

"Elena." Our greetings were never warm towards one another.

"Christian, I have a new girl here for you. She's very obedient, I'm sure you'll like her. Come to the salon to meet her this afternoon." This is the thing that annoys me about Elena, she never gives control to me, it makes me angry to feel like I'm being controlled by her.

"No. I'm not interested Elena. Tell her to find another Dom." I slide on my jacket as I'm talking to her, my routine can't stop just because of Elena, I won't give her that satisfaction of making me late.

"Christian, it's been three months since Sophia, please come meet this girl."

"No. Good bye Elena." I hung up the phone and got into the car. I will not submit to Elena.

Our drive to work was very uneventful, the traffic was halfway decent, no car accidents which was fortunate, Taylor parked out the front of Grey Industries and with my phone in my hand I began to read my emails as I walked into the building. I felt a small object run into me and instinctively I grabbed onto it to stop it from moving away.

I look down to see a petite brunette standing in front of me, her eyes were wide, but they were the brightest blue I've ever seen, they almost seemed to swirl with emotions I didn't know could be in such pretty eyes. I felt myself succumbing to her eyes, I traced the rest of her face with my gaze, very red cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and her lips were plump ready for the kiss I desperately wished to give.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" I can feel my eyebrows raising as I taken in her foul language. I didn't expect such a beauty to use swearing. I almost found myself stating it to her, even though it's not my place to correct her behavior, and heaven knows worse has come out of my mouth.

"Don't apologize..." I mumble, I notice her eyes beginning to look down towards her arms, why on earth would she be looking there? Suddenly it dawns on me that the reason she's looking is because I've still got a tight grip on her, immediately I release my hands from her delectable body. "Uh..." _Think Grey, say something._ "Good bye." _Good job Grey. Who would of guessed you run a company. At least you aren't thumping your head on your hands._ I quickly walk away from the girl that seems to be muddling my brain and head into my office, the center of my control.

I don't turn to look back at the blue eyed beauty and decide to instead focus on the blonde that greets me at the front counter, I don't know her name all I know is, that she's been working here nearly 4 months. She's a little too brazen if you ask me however Roz seems to dote on her.

I head up to my office and Andrea begins to recite my daily activities to me, I nod along and just as every day before this she sighs and states it's on my calendar if I wish to have a look and my first meeting of the day was at 9 AM sharp and they were already in the building awaiting me. I nod and she walks out of the office muttering something I can't quite hear but I understand she's complaining I don't listen enough.

Oh Andrea, I listen plenty.

My day goes on, Andrea gets me my breakfast, lunch and most probably has my dinner prepped and ready to go I assume but she quickly scurries into my office with wide eyes and a shocked expression. "Andrea?"

"Mr Grey, I believe that lady you bumped into this morning is still here." _What?_

"Andrea, what do you mean still here? It's almost two in the afternoon!" What on earth could she possibly be doing still on the premises?

"Yes sir, she's currently typing away on a laptop in the café."

"Maybe she's doing a paper or something Andrea. People are allowed to use the Café as much as they please. It does bring in business."

"But sir. Taylor was also concerned due to the fact she keeps watching the lobby, we believe she's on some sort of mission to find out what goes on in Grey Industries. Maybe a reporter? Taylor has gone down to collect her for you to interview of course."

"Thank you Andrea. Show her in when you're ready."

I get up from my chair and begin to pace back and forth, who would of thought that Elena was correct, I would be interviewing some petite brunette before the week is out, maybe not necessarily for the same reasons but still, a interview is an interview. The doors opened and I saw a flash of brown hair beginning to fall towards the ground, instinctively I ran to her aid once again grabbing onto her arms to support her. _Why Grey, you hate touching strangers._

"Miss, we meet again." I put on my best CEO voice as Andrea, Mia and Mother state and swear that I have one. It comes out cold and harsh.

"Yes, I guess so. The only thing is I'm not sure why we're meeting for the second time today." Her eyebrow lifts as if she's asking some rhetorical question of me, her eyes dart to my hands again since I've once again failed to release her. "Also, can you please release your grip on me?" The cheek of the girl before me! Here I am saving her from falling flat on her face and she's upset because I forgot to release her? The spanking this girl is going to get! I can feel my eyes narrowing at her like a petulant child.

I release her as requested and notion towards the couch in my office. "Please, sit." She picks the chair furthest away from mine, exactly opposite me. I notice a small twitch of her lips, humour graces her eyes for a moment until her eyes lock with mine. "What is your name?" _Christian Grey, don't be rude!_ My mother's voice calls out to me "If you don't mind me asking." I manage to slip into the sentence.

"My name is Anastasia Steele, what is yours?" Her eye brow raises once again, it seems this girl has no poker face, she is clearly challenging me as to what right I have asking her questions. I feel my face contort with confusion.

"You don't know?" I blurt out. She quickly looks around and she shrugs slightly.

"Should I?" My mouth nearly pops open at that, she doesn't know who I am.

"Hmm. My name is Christian Grey, Miss Steele. I own this building, in fact this company." I almost add and many others, I feel a burst of pride swell through me. That's right Miss Steele, I own a lot more than that chair your perky ass is sitting on.

I watch her as she notices my pride and her eyes narrow slightly, obviously she has a dislike towards accomplished people. "Okay, so you're the owner of a building where I'm writing a term paper and having coffee? Please explain why you've summoned me your royal highness?" I want to laugh at the term, the only security threat she is, is of me falling off this couch in laughter.

"Royal Highness?" I can't stop my lips from curling upwards in a smirk. She seems to be mentally preparing herself for something. "Regardless Miss Steele, we needed to ensure you weren't a threat to the building. However, I can see that's not the case. If you'll please excuse me." I stand while talking to her to signal her to leave without questions. Oh Miss Steele, you're a curious one.

"Of course your Royal highness." She actually curtsies at me, a mocking curtsey then turns around without waiting for a final reply. My mouth is actually open staring at this girl, when I turn to look at Taylor he's covering his mouth trying not to laugh. Who does Miss Steele think and believe she is to mock someone she does not even begin to understand or know? Before I can stop myself I'm heading outside my office and turn to find Miss Steele waiting at the elevator a look of relief on her face.

"Miss Steele, a word please?" She slowly turns to face me, and I'm nearly breathless at the sight of her blue eyes again.

"What is it?" I wish I could spank the rudeness out of her, I stop walking towards her though. _Well Grey, what words did you need to discuss again?_

"Miss Steele... Please feel free to visit again, just don't trip on your way out." I openly smirk at her and turn on my heel back to my office. That's right Miss Steele, a Grey will always, always have the last word.

"Taylor!"

"Yes Mr Grey?" The laughter from him before is gone now.

"Get Welch on the phone. I wish to know everything there is to know about Miss Anastasia Steele."

"Yes sir." He walks off and I'm left to resume my seemingly boring day after Miss Steele's departure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Known Secrets**

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."

\- Ronald Dahl.

 **Christian POV.**

The rest of the day went by very slowly after my interesting encounter with Miss Anastacia Steele, it seems that the blue eyed mystery was running around and around in my head. Roz walked in through the doors of my office with her hands on her hips.

"Yes Roz?" I didn't even look up from my phone as she entered. I could tell by the huff coming from her she was not impressed.

"Well MR Grey, if I can get your attention for a moment." I flicked my eyes up and decided rather than anger her further to just put down my phone.

"Fine Roz, tell me what's happening." I almost sighed in exasperation, almost.

"Why do I have an order for a background check on my desk for one Miss Steele. She hasn't interviewed with us at all."

"Well, although I'm not used to explaining my actions to do with MY company Roz I will give you the benefit of the doubt today, but I expect it not to ever happen again understood?" I leveled my gaze on her, keeping my expression cold and hard. "I ordered a background check due to the fact she was in the office today, staff were concerned she was a threat. After talking to her we found that is not the case but to make sure MY staff feel comfortable I felt it was necessary."

"Fine Mr Grey. But I will not condone any stalking. The staff talk around here and I will protect any person I deem fit."

"Understood Roz, anything else?" I go back to looking at emails on my phone.

"No Mr Grey, as long as we're both understood." She walks out of my office as quickly as she entered. I smile once she leaves.

"Did you hear that Taylor? Our lovely Roz the protector. Seems your instincts about her were correct."

"Yes Mr Grey, I told you come time she would be a good ally. She's fiercely loyal to herself and has been to you as well, that's someone we need in mergers and acquisitions."

"Very true Taylor. Let's head home to Escala, I'm sure Mrs Jones has something wonderful to eat."

"Of course Mr Grey."

 **Ana POV**

"Kate time to get out of bed!" I was knocking on Kate's bedroom door, and that's when I heard the scuttle of two different sets of feet moving on the carpet and Kate telling someone to be quiet. "No Kate, you didn't!"

"Ana I'll be out in a moment, can you make sure Ella is in her bedroom for the next five minutes?" Her whisper came through the door.

"She's not even up yet, she'll be asleep for the next half hour." I stood outside her bedroom with my hands on my hips.

Kate exited the bedroom first and looked apologetically at me. "I'm sorry Ana, I couldn't resist." I pointed to the bathroom signalling for her to hurry up and get ready, we'd have words about this later. Aaron came out of her room next trying to put on his shirt as he went.

"Ana." He nodded in my direction.

"Hold up there buddy. We need to have words."

"Words Ana? I'm not some major for you to stupidly study for. Kate and I had sex that's all there is to it." He shrugged his shoulders and all I wanted to do was smack his face into the wall.

"You listen here. If you step foot in this household again, I will do a lot more then have words, do you understand me? Kate is my bestfriend and whilst you are lurking about using her for god knows what she can't move on and find the man of her dreams. So do me a favour and bugger off."

"No, little lady. I will not do anything of the sort. As long as Kate's legs are open I'll be around." That was the last straw I could take, I slapped him across the face.

"Get out of my house." I stared up at him, I didn't move a muscle, he went to move towards me I wasn't entirely sure of his intention at this point. "You can't intimidate me Aaron, after everything I've been through a few words won't do much to upset me. Get out of my house before I call security to personally escort you out." With a huff he did end up leaving.

I turned around and I saw Kate standing there with her mouth open with shock. "Ana..."

"No Kate." I placed a hand up in the air and walked away from her.

"Ana please!"

"No. I will not hear this again. I told you I didn't like him the first time you introduced us, I stated that he was putting on an act that I could see right through, you ignored me because you were in love, then when I saw him push you that one time you said it was the first time it ever happened, and promised me it would never happen again, then it did happen again. I intervened and you yelled at me to mind my own business. Do you remember that? Do you remember how we both cried because he abused you? You broke it off and then he came over one night I found out, we yelled and yelled. Ella came in worried because we were both crying and woke her up. You PROMISED Kate, Promised." I didn't stop whilst watching the tears pour down her face. "So No Kate, I don't want to hear you're sorry or it'll never happen again because frankly I don't trust or believe you anymore." I closed my door behind me.

"Ana, I'm so, so, sorry." I heard her feet move away from my door. _Don't worry Kate, I'll support you through your interview today without hesitation but I'm still not happy with you._

I went to get dressed for the day, I decided on a plain grey business pencil shirt with a light blue shirt, my hair was curled around my face with a light blue bow place in my hair. Putting my blue pumps on I walk outside my bedroom door, Kate has also gone for a similar look but is wearing green instead of blue. I walk towards her and give her a hug. "Kate I love you, we're okay love." I walk off to wake up my little darling.

"Ella love, time to get up." I kissed her forehead to wake her up. As per usual she rolled over and tried to pull her blankets up over her head. I moved to the bottom of her bed and grabbed her blanket and with a swift movement I pulled it from her body. Naturally this was a every day occurrence, my little angel tried to hide under her pillow from me while grumbling a "no mummy." It took nearly 10 minutes to get her out of bed, I managed to get her hair brushed so her curls framed her face, we once again disagreed on which clothes she should be wearing. I managed to convince her to wear some blue jeans a pretty blue wool sweater and blue boots. She wanted a blue bow in her hair as well, so we'd be matching to an extent.

We were all ready to go, Kate kept Ella between us, this was our way to keep our girl protected on the street. Ella and Kate were holding hands on the way to Ella's day care centre. When we arrived at the day care centre Ella requested that Kate walk her in since she never gets to do it, I simply relinquished to that idea, she gave me a kiss and wave before I watched her walk through the doors. I pulled out my phone as I waited for Kate to return when I noticed that a black car was in front of me, I watched the car from the top of my eyes. I noticed the security guard from before come around the car and open the back door and hello and behold Mr Grey has arrived. _Wait, WHY is he here?_

 _"_ Mr Grey."

"Miss Steele, pleasure to see you."

"That's one word, dropping a child off at day care today?" I watched his eyes show a sign of shock.

"No Miss Steele, I have no children. I saw you on the side of the street and was going to offer you a ride."

"What a weird thing to do, offer a complete stranger a ride."

"It's not weird, you're a single woman by yourself, some might say it's a man's duty to ask a lady such a question."

"Well my mother always taught me, never to get in the car with strangers Mr Grey. Besides I'm hardly alone." I heard Kate's shoes tapping along the concrete, she saw I was talking to someone and came to investigate. "Mr Grey, please meet Katherine Kavanagh, Kate this is Mr Grey, from Grey Industries."

"Hello Mr Grey, I believe we have a 10 o'clock appointment." She shakes his hand, she always knows how to act around people, her parents have trained her well, where I seem to flounder around.

"Yes I believe we do, would you ladies like a ride to Grey Industries?" He motions towards the car, I knew at this point denying was a lost cause, Kate already had her notes out probably hoping to get more information before her appointed time.

"Please sir, we'd love that." Kate gets into the car willingly, I almost grumble as I follow in behind her and Mr Grey behind me. Once we were seated inside the car Kate turns to me "Ella is perfectly happy inside she ran to a little boy called Jack and started to exclaim they were getting married, the ladies at the day care all chuckled." I smiled at the thought of Ella doing that, of course she's got boys wrapped around her finger.

I shot a quick look to Mr Grey and he was happily ignoring the conversation, most men tend to tune out of conversation that involve children even sometimes when it includes their own. Kate began to try and ask Mr Grey more questions. He turns to me and looks directly into my eyes. "Who's Ella?"

"Ella is a four year old child who goes to the day care that you stopped out the front of today, even though you have no children." Kate stares at me, almost pleading with me to shut up. I roll my eyes and turn to stare back at him. "Ella is my daughter."

"You have a child." He almost seems to be upset at the revelation.

"Yes, although I don't see why you're upset at that fact Mr Grey. She's my child not yours and in fact she's a beautiful child." I decide to look away from his face, no matter how good it is, no man will ever be sad at the fact I have a daughter. The car stopped and the security guard opened the door for Kate, and Mr Grey blocked me from exiting. I felt my breathing begin to quicken, my limbs started to go cold. _Why are you blocking me?_

"I wanted to apologise, I'm not upset that you have a child, I hear it's a wonderful thing, having children I mean. I'm just a little taken aback because I picked up some other man's wife -" I interrupted him straight away at that point.

"I am no man's belonging. Ella doesn't have a father because she doesn't need one. She has me and my family which includes the Kavanaghs. Now please let me out of the car or please stop blocking the door way." His eyes went from sad, to happy then to confused and shocked. It was a whirlpool of emotions playing on his face, but he moved from the door way but we both just sat in the car together, Kate thankfully went into the café I hoped.

"You don't like to be cornered. You got a guard up just then I'm sorry if I made you get that guard up." He seemed so sincere of the apology.

"No I don't. Please don't let our encounter from yesterday ruin Kate's interview. She's worked so hard for this interview and I know it means the world to her." Our eyes were locked onto one another.

"Miss Steele, if I could give Kate another hour for her interview, and whatever else she required to make it a true masterpiece of literary art would you consider something for me?" He leans in ever so slowly towards me, and whispers "Would you consider going on one date with me?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - Finding my breath**

"Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again."  
― Thich Nhat Hanh

 **Ana POV**

"Would you consider going on one date with me?" Those grey eyes are staring into my soul, I felt my whole body stiffen in anticipation. _Why me?_ My inner-goddess demands. Why would a CEO who I've barely had a conversation with for less than five minutes want to take me on a date? A mother for heavens sake!

"Is that why you were outside my daughters day care centre? Did you know I had a daughter already?" My inner-goddess was glaring at me now, most girls would swoon at the handsome Christian Grey looking at them, but I imagine most would simply pass out if he asked them the question he's asking me now and yet, all I can do is question his motives. I watched him transform from a confident business man to being a little unsure of himself, one might even say ashamed.

"Well, yes I did know you had a daughter and I'll admit to hoping to see you today since I also knew you lived with Miss Kavanagh." _Stalker much?_ "But Miss Steele, I was so entranced by you yesterday I simply couldn't keep myself from wondering _What if?_ " He didn't seem to be thinking what if I said yes, my mummy-senses were kicking in.

"So, Mr Grey - Can I call you Christian? If you were uncertain of how I was going to react why did you not simply come forth outright and say "Yes I knew you had a daughter Miss Steele this is the reasoning behind me being a crazy stalker" and list them off for me one by one?"

"First, yes you can call my Christian, second I was not being a crazy stalker you were by staying in my building so long yesterday my staff got worried about their safety therefore, a background check was fully in order. Hence my reasons behind knowing you're a mother but not the reasons as to why the father's not present, the reason I know pretty much everything the military can conjure up on you, including your roommate. However, these are things you simply don't divludge to someone you wish to take on a date."

"For fear of being called a stalker?" I had an eyebrow raised at the man before me, even I can't keep the incredulous look off my face, he rolled his eyes before replying to me, thinking through all the answers.

"You certainly have a way with words Miss Steele, but I suppose you're right I didn't want you to think of me a and I quote you some crazy stalker."

"Well, Mr Crazy Stalker -"

"At least I'm not a royal highness anymore." Christian interrupted me, in what I could only guess was humour.

"Well Mr Royal crazy stalker, how about you give Kate the interview of a life time and then we can discuss the outcome of that potential dinner afterwards?" Bargaining, not even Ella can beat me at this game.

"Well, it seems I've met my match Miss Steele. Have you ever considered applying for an internship here at Grey Industries? We could always use another person in acquisitions and mergers!" He smirked but started to get out of the car.

"As if I could do anything so boring." I laughed and followed him out as well, taking his hand as I exited the vehicle. "Can I ask why me?" I looked up into the Grey eyes which were beginning to capture my whole entire soul in mere days.

"To put it mildly Miss Steele -"

"Call me Ana please."

"To put it mildly Anastasia, you intrigue me. I've never met a woman who can challenge me so easily, without hesitation." He shrugged and guided us into the building.

 _You aren't anything worse than what has already happened to me before Mr Grey. Why on earth would I ever be intimidated by you? Because of some fancy building that I could care less about, because you're more successful than I am? So are a lot of people Mr Grey. Try again._ I could of smacked my inner-self in this moment, please woman stop comparing everything, this isn't a competition to see who's got more baggage! Besides he'd probably win just by buying at the whole west coasts supply of bags!

"However, I will do as you ask and give her the interview of a life-time." He smirked ever so slightly at me before walking off towards the elevator, Taylor following suit with a tiny smirk on his face as well.

I released the breath that I was seeming to hold instantly the minute he was no longer in sight, it was as if all my guards were falling down around me. "Jesus, you two took a long time." Kate mutters beside me and hands me a coffee, we decide to sit in a love seat together.

"Tell me about it." I take a small sip of my cappuccino, grimacing slightly as I do.

"What on Earth were you talking about?" She stares at me with wide eyes, unbelieving eyes seems to be a more accurate adjective.

"Well, you remember what we discussed yesterday about my impromptu meeting?"

"Yeah..." I can see the famous Kavanagh look coming out, as if interviewing me might give her some edge on Christian.

"Well, seems that the bugger did a background check on me, now knows where my daughter goes to day care and decided to wait and see if I dropped her off to try and pick me up for a date."

"Wow Ana, you know I'm not even going to put this in the paper, it's just way too stalker-ish, and his 'people' won't even allow it to go through anyway."

"And here I thought it would be because it's my life and my daughter's life and we're way more important than some silly paper." I look at her out of the corner of my eye, she looked slightly embarrassed.

"Of course Ana, you two are the most important thing to me in the world, so what did you say to dating Mr Hottie?" She waggles her eyebrows at me.

"I said we'd discuss if if he gave you the interview of a life-time." I shrugged.

"So you're saying no?"

"I don't know Kate, think about Ella, how would she feel being the centre of the media's attention? Christ the whole of Seattle thinks he's gay because he's never been seen with a woman outside of his family and imagine me and a Ella popping up on scene" i move my hands in an arc as I'm speaking "Gold-digger or looking for her next baby daddy? See who's got her hooks on our favourite Grey!"

Kate slaps my arm playfully. "Or it will read, "Check out Seattle's favourite Anastasia Steele in a love-locked embrace with our second favourite Grey."

"Second favourite?"

"Yeah, I prefer blondes after all. Elliot Grey, I could strip that man off and eat Jelly from his abs!" She gushes going slightly red as she's talking.

"Kate Kavanagh, that's disgusting. Not to mention unhygienic." Kate and I gossip for a few more minutes before she decides to get settled in, prepping for her interview. I see a tall man enter the little cafe, he has broad shoulders and blonde hair. Kate seems oblivious to him, thank goodness.

"Hey darl, can I get my usual to go please?" He was leaning over the counter giving me a good look at how tight his pants were and how they hugged his ass in just the right way. _That's right girl! Check out the piece of man-meat!_

"Ana, are you awake?" Kate seems to follow to where my eyes were looking and she sat there stunned as well.

"Here you are Elliot." The sever handed him his coffee, I can't even remember her name at this moment in time.

"Laters baby." He walks off towards the elevator the blondes surrounding him seem to be falling like flies as he goes. Kate and I both snap out of it the minute he's out of view.

"Holy shit." We both whisper.

"DIBS!" Kate states, loud enough for the cafe to hear.

"Sorry darling, I called dibs a long time ago!" A very flamboyant gay man states with pride causing the whole cafe to erupt into a chuckle. Kate was bright red in the face, from what emotion I couldn't tell. The cafe began to calm down and after a little while a lovely little blonde called something came to collect both Kate and I from our chairs as our meeting with Christian was about to occur.

"Both of us?" I ask her, confusion etched into my face.

"Mr Grey requested that both of you attend the interview." She shrugs and begins to walk towards the elevator, Kate and I share one glimpse towards one another but follow her. Seems Mr Grey has something planned for the both of us, and it was going to be a very interesting afternoon. Lord help me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Unbidden time.**

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices -just recognize them.  
\- Edward R. Murrow

 **Ana POV**

I turned to Kate as we both stood before the elevator, I raised my eye brows showing my curiosity towards the current predicament we're in. _I wonder why he requested both of us to be present?_

Kate shrugged her shoulders slightly. _I don't know Ana, maybe he wants to ba-ba-ba-bang you?_

I narrowed my eyes slightly at her when she began to waggle her eyebrows at me with a devilish twinkle in her eyes. _Shut up Katherine Kavanagh._

She feigns shock with a mocking hand covering her open mouth. _Why Ana-bo-bana, how rude! I'm sure lover-boy wouldn't like you saying that._ Even I couldn't stop myself rolling my eyes at her. I pushed her shoulder softly, we both held in a giggle.

As the doors binged open I was once again greeted, albeit a little more warmly this time by the impeccable blonde sitting by Mr Grey's office. "Miss Steele, Miss Kavanagh welcome. I do believe Mr Grey is expecting you." I looked her up and down the woman was nothing short of stunning, long straight blonde hair not a strand straying her pencil skirt hugging all her curves. I sighed softly as I looked at her I'm nearly 100% sure I don't look that good.

I heard Kate scoff as she heard my sigh, I shot my eyebrows up at her in a feeble attempt at questioning. She just rolled her eyes and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. _Miss Steele, you look amazing. Cut it out._ I just shrug her off, whatever Kate Kavanagh.

I was once again walking through the big doors of Mr Grey's office, only thankfully this time I'm not tripping over myself trying to get through them. Although I do look down trying to figure out what I tripped on last time. Whilst searching for my previous mistake on the ground I failed to notice that Kate had stopped walking, resulting in me walking straight into her.

We fumbled for a moment and I looked up at Kate through my eyelashes only to see she was not bright red in the face, like I knew I was but rather calm and relaxed. She was smiling towards Christian. He was standing near the love-chairs were we first met, and just as before my eyes went from looking at the demi-god of a man to the artwork littered around the room. So cold.

"Miss Kavanagh, Miss Steele. Please come have a seat so we can begin." He motioned for the love-seats. Kate sat across from him and I went to sit next to her, however he motioned for the seat beside him. Kate's eyes went wide for a moment, I flushed brightly might I add. I sat beside Christian, keeping my hands and eyes firmly fixed on my knees.

"So Miss Kavanagh, shall we begin?" Christian was sitting back slightly turned so I could see his face, his copper brown hair seemed to be glowing in the dim light through the window, his grey eyes seemed so alive with something I couldn't quite put my finger on."

"Of course Mr Grey, can we start of with some relatively easy questions?" This is the Kate I know, she's confident, well aware he's answered the same questions probably a million times or more, but just in case he gives a different answer she asks again.

"Well, if you insist." He motions for her to continue. It was an interesting thought the two of them facing off against one another in a battle of wits, I imagine it being like Lady Liberty trying to play cards against Godzilla. I stifled back a giggle at the thought.

"You're very young to have amassed such an empire Mr Grey. To what do you personally owe your success?" I watch as the confident man beside me holds his breath, not out of intimidation or guilt but rather was seemed to be boredom.

"Business is all about people, Miss Kavanagh and, I'm very good at judging people. I know how they tick, what makes them flourish, what doesn't, what inspires them and how to incentivize them. I employ an exceptional team and I reward them very well." Christian turns to look at me for a moment before turning back to Kate. "My belief is to achieve success in any scheme one has to make oneself master of the scheme, know it inside and out, know ever detail. I work hard, very hard to do that. I make decisions based on logic and facts. I have a natural gut instinct that can spot and nurture a good solid idea and good people. The bottom line Miss Kavanagh is, it's always down to good people in a business."

"Maybe you're lucky..." I mutter before I can stop myself. His delicious grey eyes turn to stare at me in what I can only assume is shock at my outburst. My inner goddess almost cheers at catching him off guard.

His eyes narrow slightly. "I don't subscribe to luck or chance, Miss Steele. The harder I work the more luck I seem to have. It really is all about having the right people on your team and directing their energies accordingly. I believe it was Harvey Firestone who said "the growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership." He seems so smug at his little quotes of people.

"You sound like a control freak." It was statement, fact, a declaration from the roof top. His eyes narrow slightly before he leans back in the chair, a single finger tip tracing those luscious lips I wanted so desperately to kiss.

"I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele. All things." I feel the shiver of excitement travel down my spine right into my inner-goddess. Kate drags us out of our personal intimate moment.

"Mr Grey, do you feel as if you have immense power?" I mutter control freak at the top of my inner voice. Kate shoots me a dagger of a look while Christian is thinking of his next reply. _Take a chill pill Ana._ Is all her eyes seem to be screaming at me.

"I employ over forty thousand people. I do believe that gives me a certain sense of responsibility - of power, if you will. For example if I were to decide I was no longer interested in the telecommunications business and sell, twenty thousand people would struggle to make their mortgage payments after a month or so."

I feel my mouth pop open at the statement, the man before me was nonchalant about it as well. This was his life, the decider between if children get Christmas presents or if they have a proper dinner at thanksgiving. It dawns that there is no humility in his voice as he's talking. "Don't you have a board to answer to?" The stupid question has once again dodged my filter.

"I own my company. I don't have to answer to a board." His eye brow is raised as he answers. Again Kate redirects the conversation back towards the interview.

"Do you have any interests outside your work?" My eyes trailed down to his lips as the twitched slightly, his eyes glazed over in what I could only assume was him remembering something either highly entertaining or amusing.

"I have varied interests." He nearly seemed to chuckle after "Very varied." His eyes flashed to mine and there was a heat that was irradiating from them, which seemed to travel down my body making me squirm slightly.

"But if you work so hard, what do you do to chill out?" I seem to be transfixed on the gaze of his eyes, he seemed to make my filter disappear. As my question registered in his mind I watched as the heat transformed into amusement.

"Chill out?" He smiled a perfect heart-stopping smile. "Well, to 'chill out' as you put it Miss Steele - I sail, I fly, I... Indulge in well various physical pursuits one could say." I watched as he repositioned himself on the couch. One could even say he squirmed slightly. My inner goddess was alight with amusement at making the man before me squirm. "Needless to say Miss Steele, I'm a very wealthy man and I have expensive and absorbing hobbies." Kate and I exchange a look between us, it resembles something along the line of _Who cares?_

"You invest in manufacturing. Why, specifically?" Kate was nothing but confident business.

"I like to build things. I like to know how things work: what makes things tick, how to construct and deconstruct, and I have a love of ships. What can I say?" When he was talking I felt a burst of joy and pride at his words, it was uncomplicated.

"That sounds like your heart talking, rather than logic and facts." I watch my inner goddess going through boxing rounds with the filter from my brain to my mouth. Not winning might I add.

"Possibly. Though there are people who'd say I don't have a heart." His eyes once again alight with amusement.

"Why would they say that Mr Grey?" Kate jumps on the chance for new information.

"Because they know me well." A curl of the lips, a small smirk alights his face.

"Would your friends say you're 'easy' to get to know?" Kate once again jumps at the chance for more information, although the curiosity and amusement in her eyes makes me believe it may be for more than just her paper.

"I'm a very private person, I go a long way to protect my privacy. I don't often give interviews as Miss Kavanagh would say. Miss Kavanagh badgered my PR people and lets face it, I really do admire that kind of tenacity." He leans towards me slightly, his voice drops slightly. "And, I do believe an interview of a lifetime was on the line."

"You also invest in farming technologies. Why are you interested in this are?" He straightens up and once again resumes the interview.

"We can't eat money Miss Kavanagh... And there are too many people on this planet who don't have enough to eat." His eyes haunted, a memory playing behind those grey eyes? I wanted so desperately to touch him at that point, to caress away the memories which plagued him.

"That sounds very philanthropic. Is it something you feel passionately about, feeding the worlds poor?" He offers nothing short of a shrug.

"it's a shrewd business." He looks away from Kate momentarily, looking more towards the artwork around him, he was trying to avoid the conversation, I looked towards Kate and it seemed as if she had the look to go for the kill, I glared slightly at her a warning to not push it. Kate sighed but continued along her list of questions. Christian noticed that she didn't pressure anymore and looked almost relieved.

"Do you have a philosophy, if so, what is it?"

"I don't have a philosophy as such, more like a guiding principle - Carnegie's: 'A man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind make take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.' I'm a very singular, driven. I like control - of myself and those around me."

I frowned slightly as I listened to his guiding principle, it's hard to control someone when you're in a relationship (or so I've heard) let alone someone who has a child in that relationship. Yet here is asking me on a date? I mentally shake my head at the thought pattern. "So you want to possess things?"

"I want to deserve to possess them, but yes bottom line I do." So honest, so open.

"You sound like the ultimate consumer." I mummer.

"I am." A smile which doesn't quite reach his eyes. Here is a man who wants to possess everything, control everything. Is the ultimate man in the business world, ruthless to a point and yet, he wants to feed the world, feed those who he cannot profit on.

"You were adopted. How far do you think that's shaped the way you are?" I stare at Kate as I realise the questions are getting slightly more personal by the second. Like a boiling a frog... Slowly so they don't notice.

"I have no way of knowing." He gives a small shrug.

"How old were you when you were adopted?" I ask softly.

"That's a matter of public record Miss Steele." He flicks his eyes to me again, a look of slight disapproval appears. I look at my hands feeling my face burn with the flush.

"Have you had to sacrifice a family life for your work?" Kate enquires.

"I have a family. I have a brother and a sister and two loving parents. I'm not interested in extending my family beyond that." He states. _Not interested? Then why are you asking me out? I come with children._

"Are you gay Mr Grey?" I hear the inhale from Christian, I don't even hear my heart beat anymore, I stare open eyed at Kate and I realise this was a question to get a reaction.

"No Miss Kavanagh, I'm not." He states it like it's a matter of fact, it was terse moment between the two of them. "However I do believe true to Miss Steele's word I've given you the 'interview of a life time' therefore, Miss Kavanagh whilst it was somewhat a pleasure to meet you do you mind if we have a moment alone?"

Kate stands with a bright smile on her face, pleased no doubt that she's got all the material behind her to finish signing her soul away to the devil. I'm still sitting beside Christian, he doesn't look at me until Kate's gone.

"So Anastasia, what do you think we should do from here?"


	8. Chapter 8

**A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.**

 **\- John Steinbeck**

 **Chapter 8.**

 **Ana POV**

I felt my heart beat a million miles an hour when Mr Oh-so-handsome turned around to Kate my protector of the time and asked her to leave the room. I felt my face begin to pale, I looked down at my hands refusing to look at the grey eyes beside me.

"Anastasia." He called for me, every single fiber in my being at this point was screaming at me to just turn and glimpse at the copper-haired god beside me, however my inner self knows I don't always listen.

"Christian." I mumble at my hands. I could almost hear the rolling of his eyes beside me, in exasperation or annoyance I couldn't tell.

"Anastasia please, look at me." There was a compulsion in his voice that I just couldn't ignore, as hard as I was trying. I caved and looked up into his eyes and saw curiosity, and maybe a hint of fear?

"Yes Christian?" I smile slightly at him, trying to hide my nerves deep, deep down.

"Anastasia." He seems to make my name purr through his what I hope is, smooth lips. "What did you think of the interview?" His lip twitches in what I could only assume was either smugness or amusement.

"It was a fine interview Christian. However, I believe there's a lot more to you than simply your face." The reply was slightly more snappy then I originally meant it to be, or at least planned it out in my head.

"Indeed Anastasia. Things are never what they appear to be." He agreed. "However, the question remains if it was, and as I quote "a interview of a lifetime" as you so eloquently put it."

"Christian..." My brain was going into hyper drive as I started to form the sentence in my brain _I'm sorry I can't date you, you're an utter control freak and I'm terrified you'll be all controlling over me and more importantly my daughter._ I mentally shook my head, no, no he'll never accept that. _I'm worried about you, you're more than I believe I can handle._ Yeah right! He'll take that straight to his ego! _I have to ask my daughter's permission first?_ No Ana, we do not ask our children for permission. _Kate! Make up something about reviews of the interview before a decision can be reached!_ I mentally nod along with my inner-goddess. What a genius she could be at time. "I believe it may be to soon to release that information to you. After all, we hardly know how this interview is going to turn out for the paper." My inner goddess is running around in a pantsuit wearing fake glasses trying her case out in front of an imaginary court.

"Anastasia." I watch as his eyes begin to narrow slightly. "I hardly believe that is fair."

"All is fair in love and war." I retort straight away.

"We are hardly at war Anastasia." He rolls his eyes at me, I can feel him beginning to prepare himself for the battle to come. The battle of wits one might say.

"Regardless Mr Grey. I believe it would be beneficial to wait and see how the results of the interview arrive." I know the way I'm speaking is so business like, it somehow makes me stronger, braver.

"I know what you're doing Anastasia. But I will relent to you at this point, however." I watch as his eyes alight with determination. "I will only relent if you will accompany me to a dinner, along with Miss Kavanagh. We could, continue the interview." _Wait. What? How did this get turned around?_ I feel my courage draining away, and as he watches it as well his position only gets stronger. "One could say... Compromise?"

"Ah... Well, you see..." I stumble for another excuse, falling short always use the kids! "I'm afraid that will be impossible because then I would not have a sitter for Ella."

"Your daughter?" His head tilts slightly, although he can tell the battle is won every time I mention my daughter his expression changes slightly.

"Well, I don't know any other Eleanora's." I roll my eyes, a force of habit albeit a rude one.

"Bring her along." He shrugs.

"To a business dinner? That's hardly common place." I'm shocked at the thought of Ella meeting Christian, at a business dinner no less. He'd probably take us to some fancy restaurant where they don't even serve chicken nuggets... I shudder at the comments that would arise from Ella's mouth.

"We must bring the ordinary to the extraordinary. Who cares if it's not common place Anastasia, I'll bring along my brother who's somewhat child like himself." He smirks again, at a private joke I could only assume. "Now assuming you have no other objections Anastasia" His expression goes serious for a moment, of course he realised what I was doing... It wasn't exactly much different to when Ella is trying to hide something from me. "We shall have dinner tonight, I'll make the reservations and pick you up from your apartment at 6PM sharp." _Ever so controlling Mr Grey._

"Fine, that sounds appropriate, just remember Ella is only little she will need a high chair." I get up, I don't shake his hand, I don't let him open the door and I all but storm out of the office in much the same likeness as a four year old. God damn you Grey. As I stormed out I saw Kate wide-eyed staring at me in shock, her eyes flick from me to the office.

"Ana, what happened?"

"We're going to dinner tonight."

"Dinner?" Her eyes wide. "But you're angry?"

"I'm angry I lost the battle. But I will win the war!" I mutter under my breath, but not low enough for her miss it.

"Battle, war? What the hell happened Steele?"

"Christian is getting his date, I tried worming out of it but I couldn't. So now we're going to dinner with the Grey brothers, Ella, plus us." I flick an eye to her when I mention the brothers. Her expression goes from worried, confused to down right mischievous.

"Did you say brothers?"

"Yes. Brothers."

"Oh my goodness Ana. We have to go home and prep for dinner!" I sigh in resignation. No way am I getting out of this one either.

 **Christian** **POV**

I still remember the day that Anastasia nearly fell into my office that day. I rememeber being furious that someone had bumped into me, on the street no less and I also remember it fading when I felt the shock of electricity go through me at her touch, and the swirls of emotions that was running through those very blue eyes. It'll never be a day I'll forget.

When Roz came into my office parading around like a mad woman I didn't realise one of my staff had even placed the damn files on her desk, although I made Taylor go and get the files so I could... peruse Miss Steele to my hearts content. It did make sense though since Roz is doing interviews for new interns.

Miss Anastasia Steele quite young for her age only 24, 4 years my junior. Mother is still alive whilst her father died shortly after her birth, car accident. Mother has married countless times but husband number two (Ray Steele) is who Anastasia's name comes from. Seems Anastasia decided to stay with Ray Steele rather than follow her mothers parade of other husbands. Interesting character note. No siblings that we are aware of, or step siblings. only child. no record of any serious partners or marriages for Anastasia, no record which is good.

I traced my eyes down the time line of Anastasia she became acquainted with the Kavanagh's quite early on. She even resides with Miss Kavanagh. Short mention on her living with the Kavanagh's before starting college. there's a couple of years break between finishing high wchool and going to college but no mention of a gap years. Interesting, I made a note to question her about it further.

I picked up a note from the folder, it was a letter from Welch. _Sir, whilst I let this bit of information till the last moment I hope you understand my intentions as to why. What lies in the police report is not a happy story, it's tragic. I do not wish to discuss this matter any further, whilst I understand this may anger you, please understand I have never requested anything in the 6 years of working with you._

That's odd, Welch never leaves me notes in my background checks. I read further on regardless of the note. I felt my blood turn to ice when I read the name Eleanora Steele appear. She has a child, a three year old child, soon to be turning four. I rest the paperwork on my desk and pinch the bridge of my nose. How on Earth could she have a child! There's no record of her even entering a serious relationship! I looked over Eleanora's birth certificate and found that Anastasia was the only parent on there, no father?

I picked up the police report next with my brain trying to figure out the complex puzzle that is Anastasia Steele, I skipped over the dates and the constables name as that information simply isn't relevant to the puzzle.

 **Interview with Miss Anastasia Steele and Miss Katherine Kavanagh.**

 **Anastasia Steele's Statement:**

 _Miss Anastasia Steele is being interviewed with fellow friend and victim Miss Katherine Kavanagh at Seattle Grace Hospital after the incident. Miss Anastasia Steele starts from the beginning._

 _Ana: We had just both turned 21 years of age, and like all people do when they turn 21 they go out clubbing, or drinking of some sort. Now I know what you're going to say, surely we drank before that, however it's different when you can go to a club and actually get served. Kate (nickname for Katherine Kavanagh) and I dressed up, we made a night of it you could say._

 _Now I've never been one to stick out in a crowd, I prefer to wear my jeans and a lame crummy old t-shirt with flat but that night Kate made me dress up the while 9 yards, and she just looked dazzling, she had boys fawning over her the whole night._

 _\- Please note that Anastasia Steele had to stop briefly for 5 minutes to get a drink and calm down slightly before continuing.-_

 _There was one guy who was simply not leaving us alone all night, we tried moving to different spots of the club but he kept following us, he was like a plague. We asked him kindly to leave us alone, to not talk to us, and that we didn't want his drinks. But he kept coming again, and again and again. Kate and I were dancing I think when she said she was feeling a little light headed, so we decided to go back to the bar, have some water before deciding what to do next._ _It was a busy night, there were people everywhere._

 _Now Kate started to say she was feeling a little sleepy which I admit now was a bit unusual but I said nothing of it and started to help her out the side entrance of the club, or I think it was the side entrance, it may of been the front. The bouncer asked if we needed help but I said no, we'd just catch a cab home._

 _Then I felt someone lift Kate out of my arms, Kate was nearly out cold by this point. When I looked over it was the same guy who had not been leaving us alone this whole time, he smiled briefly at me, I thought he wanted to help Kate. I started to panic when it clicked that he wasn't heading down the main street but rather than this alley side-street._

 _The panic set in, I pleaded with him to let her go, that we would be fine, to stop. He didn't listen to a word I said and just kept walking. I felt my heart drain of blood when I saw the black van, when I realised and put two and two together what was going to happen to my friend. My whole body went ridged, I couldn't move, couldn't speak. My mind was screaming at me to do something, say something. But I couldn't._

 _As the van stopped in front of the man the doors opened and he put Kate inside, that's when he turned to me. I remember his green eyes so bright in the alley way darkness. It was like he was stalking towards me, there was nothing that I could do, nothing at all. I just remember closing my eyes when I saw his fist coming towards me. Then I woke up in the hospital, I was so sore and covered in bruises. They told me I'd been out for a week._

 _\- Note Anastasia is talking to Kate from this point, not the officer conducting the interview.-_

 _I'm so sorry Kate that I didn't do anything._

 _Ana you didn't do anything wrong._

 _-End of interview.-_

Why did Welch leave the note for this simple interview? It doesn't lead to anything at all! Frustrated I moved onto the next police report.

 **Interview with Miss Katherine Kavanagh.**

 **Miss Katherine Kavanagh's statement in regards to event #242532**

 _Miss Kavanagh, it's unexpected for you to appear without Miss Steele._

 _Please, call me Kate, and there's something that you all need to know._

 _What's that Kate?_

 _The events after Ana blacked out. (Please note Ana is a nickname for Anastasia Steele.)_

 _I remember coming to a couple of hours later, or rather what I hoped was a couple of hours later. I pretended to be still passed out in the van, I didn't want anything worse to happen if they thought that I was awake. Ana and I were laying in the back of the van, we were both undressed, everyone was wearing masks now but I could tell that the man sitting near Ana was the man who kept approaching us in the club, although the music was always too loud to ever hear anything anyone was saying I never learnt his name._

 _I kept very still as the man sitting next to Ana began to move closer to Ana, she was passed out and I was so worried since the bruise on her face was getting worse and worse the more I looked at it. The man was between Ana's legs, forcing himself on her._

 _Ana was a virgin before this incident, which made it all the more terrifying for us. At least I had made the choice previously, she had this decision forced upon her. But as I laid there, looking at the details around me I noticed that they all wore the exact same shirt, it had a small logo on the top right breast. It was a little silver falcon. I did some research and there's no brands in USA that make that shirt, though you might find something else._

 _But I also wanted to inform you that Ana is pregnant, she's keeping the baby. But if you ever need blood or DNA from the child, I'm more than certain she will give that evidence, and we will testify if we ever catch the asshole that did this to us._

 _-Please note that Miss Katherine Kavanagh has gotten up and exited out of the interview room.-_

 _-End of interview-_

I stared at that sentence. " _Ana was a virgin. Ana is pregnant"_ Everything was decided for her already.

"Taylor!" I yell.

"Yes sir." He comes bursting into the room, since I hardly ever yell for his attention.

"Can you find out where Miss Steele's daughter goes to daycare please?"

"Yes sir." His brows furrow slightly.

"We have an interview with Miss Kavanagh tomorrow, and I plan on bringing Miss Steele back as well. I have a proposition for her."

"Indeed sir, I'll get it organised."

"Good. Dismissed." I look back towards the paper, how can something so tragic happen and yet she be so bright, bubbly and witty? I had to know if she feels the same level of attraction as me, I have to know.


	9. Chapter 9

**Where there is a will, there is a way. If there is a chance in a million that you can do something, anything, to keep what you want from ending, do it. Pry the door open or, if need be, wedge your foot in that door and keep it open.**

 **\- Pauline Kael**

 **Ana POV.**

I could still feel the rage emanating throughout my body as I walked with Kate towards the day care centre where my darling and hopefully calming daughter is waiting for me. Although I understand it's more than likely that she'll be playing with her new best friend and not even register I've arrived. Kate has been listening to the recording of the interview with Christian, probably coming up with ideas on how to write her story for the paper. I exhale softly to myself, how did I end up in this position exactly? I glare at Kate even though she doesn't realise. _It's her fault_ my inner goddess exclaims.

 _Well that's a tad bit obvious._ I point out to myself, although would I really do it any other way? Probably not. I owe her a lot more than she owes me. Entranced in my own mind it didn't take long before we were at the day care centre, I walked through the doors with Kate at my heels and signed my daughter out. Ella was smiling brightly and was excited to see us. "Mumma! Auntie Kate!" She runs towards us, arms outstretched. Kate walks out in front of me and spins Ella around in a circle, then they both turn to me and stick their tongue out in a playful way.

"Hah! Ella loves me more!" Kate giggles, this forces Ella to squirm and reach for me exclaiming "Nah uh! I love Mumma!" We all laugh and I give Ella a cuddle taking her from Kate's arms.

"Of course you do baby. Mumma loves you too." The ladies who were watching on all giggle along as well. "Guess what honey?"

"What Mumma?" Ella stares at me, her face so serious while she waits for her answer.

"We're going out for dinner!" I try and get her excited for the dinner, heaven knows when a toddler doesn't want to do something it can get quite difficult, and I didn't want to disappoint Kate on her potential date with Elliot Grey.

"Really! Where!?" She pipes up, and claps slightly bouncing in my arms.

"Well I don't know baby. Two gentlemen are coming to pick us up, Auntie Kate wants to play dress up before we go though!"

She turns towards Kate, giggling and so happy "Really!"

"Yes Baby! We'll match how does that sound?" Kate is nearly bouncing too.

"We can be princesses!"

"Uh. We'll see baby. We'll see." I can tell she's torn from wanting to impress Ella but also wanting to impress Elliot. With the little one in tow we finished walking home, Kate immediately took Ella to the bathroom whilst cleaned her lunch box and had it drying for tomorrow. "So Ana, shall we prepare for this evening?"

"Do I have to?" I mouth at her, and she frowns at me. She nods yes. I roll my eyes in return, fine. Like Christian will let me bail anyway. We both walk into Ella's room and look in her closet for clothing for tonight. "We need something that looks cute, smart but not overly fancy." I mention to Kate.

"I was thinking how about a little dress with a cardigan?" Kate picks out a pink dress with a little white bow on the back of the dress.

"Good luck getting her to get that on. She's all about her jeans and French/European look." Kate turns towards the door way and calls for Ella.

"Ella baby! Come here!" She raises her voice calling over for her.

"Coming!" I hear the scamper of Ella's feet on the hardwood floors as she runs towards her room.

"How do you feel about this outfit for tonight?" Kate holds up the dress and a pink cardigan to match.

Ella instantly contorts her little face in disgust. "No."

"You'll look like a modern day princess." Kate says smoothly. "But I guess since you don't want to be a princess." I look at Kate with a smirk on my face, that's just down right sneaky. Ella immediately turns around and starts reaching for the dress exclaiming that she is a princess.

"Okay baby, we'll get you ready soon. Go play in the living room." I usher her out the door and then Kate and I focus on our own clothing.

"I'm thinking plum dress for you Miss Steele, with some plum heels with a little black cardigan." I roll my eyes, like I have any choice in the matter anyway. Kate picks out her clothing as well she went for a deep navy dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Kate and I then go into the bathroom, Kate sits me down on the stool in the bathroom and proceeds to do my hair, she opted for my hair to only sweep down one side, wavy. My makeup was Natural with plum eyeshadow and a light natural lipstick. She went for an obvious look to her, hair messy but an organised mess, makeup to perfection. I felt a small twinge of what felt like jealousy, why can't I look that amazing? Kate narrows her eyes at me, warning me almost as if she can read my mind.

As we finish getting ready for this evening, which might I add I'm positively dreading, I call for Ella. She comes running down the hallway to my room and we get her dressed in the lovely pink dress with a matching cardigan and shoes, "How should we do her hair?" Kate whispers.

"Ringlets?" I whisper back.

"I like it." Kate winks and we convince Ella to sit still long enough for us to ringlet her hair to match her adorable little outfit. When all three of us are dressed to go out this evening, my the buzzer to our apartment rings, Ella naturally runs as fast as her little legs will carry her towards the inter-com, Kate and I both roll our eyes and follow her bags in hand. "I've got keys do you Ana?" I nod at her, and press the button on the inter-com that allows me to ask who's at the door.

"Hello?" I don't hear much on the other end, just street traffic.

"Anastasia?" A silkly smooth voice replies, my heart beats wildly.

"Christian?" I reply.

"Yes, are you ready?" I hear the smile in his voice as he talks.

"Yes, we'll be down in just a moment." I take my finger off the inter-com, Kate hearing our conversation heads towards the door. Together we leave to head down to the lobby. Breathe Anastasia, just breathe.

 **Christian POV**

After my interview with the rather tenacious Katherine Kavanagh and the lovely Anastasia Steele it became clear that Anastasia was actively trying to avoid spending time with me, I understand her circumstances may come into play right now but surely the woman's gone on a date before? _Remember Grey, this isn't a date, simply a extension on the interview previously._ I glare at the voice inside my head, some might call it a sub-conscious I just call it rest of the day went by slowly, every meeting dragged on as my every thought went to the delightful, delectable and desirable Anastasia Steele.

My phone rang abrubtly. "Grey." I snapped slightly, the vision of what she might look like tonight disappearing from my mind.

"Mr Grey, I have Mrs Lincoln on the phone asking for you, are you free?" Andrea asks, she knows this time slot is free but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm available for some little get together.

"Patch her through Andrea, thank you." I hear the click as Elena is transferred through to my phone, and another click when Andrea hung up her receiver. "Elena."

"Christian." She says a little too warmly.

"How can I help you Elena?"

"Christian, are you free tonight? I'm thinking dinner and drinks." It's not really a question where it concerns Elena.

"No, I'm not. I've got a family event on that I need to attend. Why do you want to have dinner Elena, the business is doing fine." _You know why she wants dinner Grey, she's got a new submissive available for you to... dominate._ I shake the voice away.

"You know why Christian, it's been 4 months already, we need to organise it now." Her voice was impatient.

"Elena, enough. I do not wish to discuss this via phone, and I do not wish to discuss it over drinks or dinner. I'm fine, regardless of how long it's been. Understood?"

I hear her sigh through the phone. "Fine Christian, I'll dismiss someone I organised to meet you then." I could her the emphasis of how I'm making her life more and more difficult. _Yeah, I'm making it hard for you._ My brain scoffs at the idea.

"Good bye Elena." I terminate the call without waiting for her reply. I immediately call Elliot.

"Hey bro!" Elliot answers on the third ring.

"Hello Elliot, any chance you're free tonight?"

"Awe, is my little bro missing me?" He mocks.

"How did you know?" My voice driping with sarcasm.

"I might be, what have you got in mind?"

"Dinner with two lovely women, and a child." I casually add.

"A child? Are you setting me up with a MILF Christian?" He sounds slightly shocked.

"No, Anastasia will be accompanying me, I however have a very lovely Blonde who's just dying to meet you."

"A blonde huh? I'm down." I can almost hear him thinking everything through. "Wait, since when do you want to meet women?"

"Since this delectable woman entered my life." It's not exactly the truth and it's not exactly a lie.

"I'm game bro, what should I wear?"

"Suit & Tie."

"Done. Pick me up?"

"Will do. Bye Elliot."

"Bye Christian." I hear him smirking.

 **Ana POV**

Ella was running towards the elevator at full pelt and was ecstatic when she managed to press the button before Kate who was dramatically running super slow to entertain our little girl, it brought a massive smile to my face as it always has. "Mumma! I beat Auntie Kate!" She runs to me, a bright beaming smile plastered upon her delectable little face, dimple proudly showing.

"I know baby girl! Good job!" I give her a high five and she pokes her tongue out at Kate, who returns it enthusiastically. The elevator door pings open and we all go inside, with a shaky finger I select the ground button. _Here we go Steele._ It felt like an eternity while waiting for the elevator to go down to the ground level, people were jumping in and jumping out accordingly, but the more people that needed to stop the more aggravated I became. Kate flicked me a sideways glance, _Cool down Steele._

That's when it happened, the elevator came to a stop. I held my little girls hand in mine and I closed my eyes, breathe in, breathe out. The familiar ping of the elevator could be heard as the doors slowly began to open, I felt like my heart was beating out of control. Breathe in, breathe out.

When I finally opened my eyes, that's when I saw him standing there, his copper hair a styled-mess, his suit grey with a grey silk tie, but it was the surprise on his face that made my heart falter, the adoring look that flicked across his face which made my feet move towards him, but most importantly it was the content smile that settled on his face when he looked at my daughter, it was the look of a man who was resolved in his decision, just hopefully I'm that decision. He held out his hand towards me, an open gesture, as I placed my hand in his, he bowed and kissed the top of my hand, his eyes never leaving mine, whispering my name.


	10. Chapter 10

We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

- **Walt Disney**

 **Ana POV**

As the elevator doors opened I saw him standing there, mouth slightly open as I watched those dark grey eyes look over my dress that Kate has picked out. I felt the blush creeping into my face as I watched him do this, I felt almost shy I guess that's the word I'd pick for myself, maybe even bashful?

The image of the seven dwarves soon came into my mind, I suppose I can go from angry, to bashful sometimes even sneezy. I knew that if I explained my thoughts right now to Ella she would be in absolute giggles, Kate would probably be thinking I could add an extra dwarf into the mix, mainly named bitchy.

"Anastasia." Christian's voice was different, not so much the silky smooth deep voice I've come to love, and dream about.

"Christian." My voice barely came out, it sounded sort of breathy.

"Ella!" Ella yelled out making everyone chuckle in the lobby.

"Sorry baby, Christian, please meet my daughter Eleanora." I placed a hand on the top middle of Ella's back, moving her slightly forward as I did so. "However, she prefers Ella."

Christian did something that still takes my breath away to this day, he got down on one knee in his fine grey suit and looked my darling daughter in the eye. "Hello Eleanora, my name is Christian." He held out a hand towards her, I never imagined he would expect a handshake from a four year old. Ella looked at his hand with a little bit of confusion clear on her face, she grabbed one of his fingers and shook it in all directions, we all stifled a giggle.

"No. It's Ella. Mumma just told you so." Ella had her tiny little hands on her hips, Kate was beginning to grimace slightly, showing my internal feelings in the matter. Christian's eyes widened slightly as Ella pulled him up on his error.

"I'm sorry Ella, can you forgive me?" His grey eyes were filled with warmth, filled with amusement as well.

"Only this time." My daughter was holding Christian's eyes in a stare down, she was really serious at this moment in time, where was my carefree daughter?

"Ella, shall you introduce your Aunt Kate?" I leant down and murmured into her ear.

"Christian, this is my Aunty Kate and this is my mumma." She moved her hands to each of us in turn, thank goodness Christian actually knew my name was not in fact mumma.

"Ladies, this is my brother Elliot Grey, Elliot this is Anastasia Steele, Ella Steele and Katherine Kavanagh." Christian was smiling politely, I looked at Elliot, big muscle bound man, with cute little dimples as he smiled, definitely Kate's type.

Ella had her little fists on her hips again. "Christian, Aunty Kate!" I was staring at my little girl, she was going to be a formidable woman.

"I apologise, Elliot this is Kate Kavanagh." He quickly corrected himself. Who knew the terrifying Christian Grey CEO and businessman would be correcting himself on a child's demand. "Shall we go to dinner ladies?" Christian held out his arm for me to take, however Ella ran up first and held his hand in her tiny little one, I bowed out to let my little girl have her night, it made me happier to see her wrapping him around her little finger than anything else has.

As we left the lobby I noticed that the usual black Audi was sitting outside, it was driven by Taylor the same man who introduced Christian and I together, from sheer luck I imagined. Taylor held all the doors open and escorted us inside, Elliot and Kate decided to take the other Audi parked behind the one Taylor driving.  
There was a lovely little car seat in the car as well, I popped Ella inside it and she fit perfectly inside it, it warmed my heart to know he had gone to the trouble to get a car seat for Ella.

 _"How do you know he doesn't have kids, nieces or nephews?"_ My inner self was right, I didn't know that for certain, I hoped that it was true though. Once we were all buckled in we sat in silence as Taylor drove through the traffic to the restaurant, I had no idea where we were going and it made me nervous and anxious rather than excited. "Where are we going Christian?" I looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"It's a surprise." He whispered conspiratorially with a wink. I rolled my eyes at the remark, Ella was clapping her hands happily and starts talking to Christian about all the surprises in her life, Christian nodded along and umm'd and ah'd appropriately. I sat back listening with a small smile playing on my lips.  
I felt the car begin to slow after what felt like a few moments in the car, Taylor pulled over and promptly got out of the car and held the doors open for us, Christian got out first, I got Ella out of her chair and Christian held a hand out for her to take, she accepted it and held onto his hand watching me follow her outside the car. Ella didn't want to hold my hand into the building but was content talking to Christian. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face as I watched her.

Taylor stayed next to the car, Christian gave him a small nod and we moved towards the elevator. Elliot and Kate came in through the doors shortly after us, we all entered the elevator together and Christian hit the top button. There were no signs to show where we're going, or what the restaurant is called. It was a very real mystery.

We were all silent as we travelled up, the elevator began to slow and we heard a soft ping to notify us we had arrived. When the doors opened Kate and I gasped softly, Ella was slightly jumping where she stood. There were candles everywhere, and fairy lights in plants that hung from the ceiling, in the middle of the room there was a single table with a highchair at the end, it smelt of roses and I could see white cloud roses surrounding the room. I looked like something out of a fairy tale, it was a perfect romantic night, our own personal restaurant.

I looked over at Christian and he was looking at me with a unfamiliar look in his eyes, it was filled with warmth. "Come." He called for all of us, as if stuck in a trance we moved to take a seat at the table, I put Ella in her chair and fastened her in slowly, breathing out calming her and myself at the same time.  
Christian walked over to the chair next to her and held it out for me, a small smirk gracing those luscious lips, my heart responding in kind. I sat down and looked into Kate's eyes and Elliot did the same for her, a small blush forming on her cheeks. We both thanked them quietly. Christian sat next to Kate but opposite me. Dinner was overtaken by Elliot and Kate talking about anything and everything, Christian and I looked at each other silent conversations coursing through the gazes.

"Christian." a little voice beeps out from the conversations. Kate immediately turns to watch the interaction, cutting Elliot off mid sentence.

"Yes Ella?" Christian's eyes were different when he looked at Ella, kind and caring.

"Why do you keep looking at mumma?" Her eyes were suspicious and curious.

"Because your mumma is very beautiful is she not?" He raised an eyebrow whilst looking at her.

"I know that." Ella turns to look at me, determination clear as day written across her little features.

"Mumma. Do you think Mr Christian looks beautiful?" I stared at her shocked.

"Uh, I think Mr Christian is very handsome yes." The determination was still there.

"Can I get down now mumma?" I wanted to look her up and down with suspicion however I couldn't bring myself to do it at the dinner table, I got up from my chair with Christian doing so at the same time. I got her out of the high chair and put her on the ground, she immediately turned around to go look at all the flowers which were surrounding us.

"Thank you." I looked up into those grey eyes, they seemed to swarm around me for a moment.

"You're very welcome Anastasia. Thank you for coming, and for bringing her." He was watching Ella at that moment, my mind began to wonder what it would be like in the future if I stayed with this man, who has the potential to make or break my future...  
It's a bright sunny morning on the weekend, Christian is not working today. Ella is running around in a meadow with wild flowers blooming all around her as the sun touched them. Her smile was one of pure happiness with no exceptions. I walk towards her and a hand touches the middle of my back guiding me to where my happiness meets my whole world. I look behind me for just a moment and auburn hair flows slightly in the wind, grey eyes glisten in the sunlight, although he watches my perfection with a almost blissful smile, the smile of unadulterated love, unconditional love.

"She's happy today." He whispers to me, not wanting to break her out of her happy bubble.

"She's happy always, but this time it's thanks to you." Those grey eyes filled with warmth and love turn to me.

"Thanks to us." Slowly his eyes go from mine to my lips, a small lean in and I brace myself as my fairy tale is beginning to come true.

"Anastasia!" Kate snaps me out of my trance, I felt the tug of my heart as I come to realise that it will never play out that way.

"I'm sorry." I shake my head slightly, I walk towards Ella. "Ella, come. We're going home." My head was stuck in flight response.

"Anastasia?" Christian is looking at me, eyes wide, childlike.

"I'm sorry, this was a mistake." I don't even listen to Ella as she struggles against my grasp,

 _"Take her, hide her away from the potential pain. Keep our girl safe."_ My head was screaming at me to run in that moment. What hope did I have of the happiness of my dream? The next couple of hours seemed to fly by at the speed of light, I ignored Taylor as he tried to stop me from leaving, I ignored it as Christian or whoever ran after me. _"Keep our girl safe."_  
 **I will always keep her safe.**

 **Chrsitan POV.**

"I'm sorry. This was a mistake." The words were slowly sinking into my brain. She's running, why is she running from me? I just stared at her retreating form with Ella in tow, pulling against her grip, looking back at us with pleading eyes. Anastasia, why did you run?

I tried to run after her but Katherine fucking Kavanagh stopped me from chasing her. I turned around and stared at her with every bit of malice I could in that second. "What the fuck, let me go!" I pulled my arm away from her grasp immediately. Elliot got in-between us in that moment.

"Calm down Christian, she doesn't know remember."

"Don't touch me." I muttered as forced response. _"You didn't mind her touching you."_ my mind flashed back to Eleanora touching my arm just slightly, I didn't respond as I normally would, it was my first taste of normality.

"Christian, if you chase her right now she will always be out of your reach." Katherine stepped around Elliot to look directly into my eyes.

"Why? Why does she run?" I asked aloud but more to myself.

"Because she's terrified." Katherine motioned for one of the chairs at the table, I ungracefully slumped myself into the hair opposite her, Elliot was cautious but naturally curious. "Christian, I know you're stalker to the point of insanity or rather imprisonment however, Anastasia has never allowed herself to ever get into a situation where she is not in control or even have the possibility of being hurt.

"Never... I _n control_?"  
"Never. She puts on a amazing show though, she does everything for her little girl and will never do anything to put her in harms way or give her any taste of what she has experienced previously."

"Surely she doesn't think -"

"No of course she doesn't think that, did you not see her zoning out before? She was obviously thinking about what her life could potentially be like with you in the future. It scared her, imagine having everything ripped from you, maturity forced upon you at an early age and then having the opportunity to be truly happy? Wouldn't your mind think that it's going to be some cruel prank? A joke from the world personally designed for you?"

"A mistake." I muttered, repeating her words.

"She won't allow herself to be place into any situation where there is a chance of failing, or of people failing her. She will always put Ella above everyone, even herself." Kate was determined to tell me this.

"So why can't I show her otherwise?"

"Because you'd be forcing her, just like everything and everyone else. She needs to do some of the chasing Christian." She began to stand from the table, looked towards Elliot and apologised. "I have to go. I'll talk to her Christian, and I'll be in contact with you. I believe if anyone has the possibility of giving her everything she needs and deserves, it'll be you." With a nod she left, Elliot walked her to the car and then came back.

"You seem really down bro." His hand hovered over my shoulder unsure of wether or not to comfort me.

"Elliot, I've never met anyone that has changed me so much in such a short amount of time." I looked up into his blue eyes, filled with worry.

"Christian, don't worry. We Grey's have a big personality however we can charm a snake if given the opportunity." He smiled at his own little joke. "Just give Ana some time, she'll come around."

 _"Why would she come around to the idea of you?"_ My mind sneered.

 **Because for once I don't want to be the bad guy, I want to be the prince charming, the knight on a white horse. I want to be everything and anything she wishes of me.**

 _"Will you let her touch your scars too?"_

 **If anyone can change me it'll be her.**

 _"So you say."_

 **Kate POV**

I walked inside the apartment and all was silent, I could tell by the clothes littered around the apartment that Ella was not happy about the way things transpired tonight, I flashback to Ella screaming no at Ana , the way Ana's eyes were wide, like a child running from their worst nightmare and I guess in a way it is her biggest fear. I knew not to intervene in that moment. I opened Ella's door silently and looked in, she looked content enough, sleeping soundly, however her hair was a mess and I could see her eyes were a little puffy obviously from crying.

"Anastasia." I knocked on her door softly and opened it to see a lump in the bed. I shook my head and let out a small sigh. I crawled into the bed beside her in the safety of the blankets. "Why did you run Ana?"

I could tell she had been crying, her breathing was irregular. "Kate... It was too much." I wanted to pull her into my arms, to comfort her, to soothe away the pain like I did when we found out Ella was coming along.

"Why was it too much?" Although I had already guessed the answer.

"I couldn't... I can't let myself be distracted. Ella needs me, she needs security, she needs to be loved and be safe."

"Safe, security. Anastasia, do you really believe Christian would hurt that little girl?" I wanted to roll my eyes so badly.

"I can't know that for certain."

"Do you think I'd LET him hurt her?"

"No..." She mumbled.

"Then what's the issue?"

"How can I let myself accept him? Why would I let him be tainted by my past?"

"Why would you taint him?" This poor, poor girl.

"Because. I have a child, with no father. I have so much baggage, that I can't drag him down with my issues."

"You had an unfortunate thing happen to you Ana, but you have a beautiful baby girl who is the spitting image of you. You have some baggage but I'm guessing he does as well. Please, think about exploring the idea of a relationship with that man? You didn't see what I did but he looked at Ella with love, compassion and adoration in his eyes, and the same look was given to you as well."

"Really?"

"Yes Ana. You're a beautiful girl." I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Please call him."

"I'll... think about it."


End file.
